First Annual TG7 Run for Mental Health

The run TG7 is in memory of Tristan Goris. Tristan was 18 years old when he took his life this past winter. Tristan was very outgoing and hardworking. He loved soccer and being outdoors and had a very big heart. This run is to honour Tristan and raise awareness for mental health. The funds generated from the run this year are being donated to Family Services Thames Valley marked for mental health.

The reason I decided to organize this run is because of Tristan. When he took his own life it gave me the courage to stop being scared of being judged for my problems. I know lots of people deal with it but very few talk about it. I want Tristan's story and my story, and everyone that has the courage to share their story to help other people who don’t yet have the courage. It’s easy to tell someone that they're not alone, but when you're in that dark place you can’t hear it, or even comprehend it. Here’s a little of my story.

I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety for around twenty years. I wouldn’t normally say anything because of a fear of being judged, being ashamed, or thinking I’m weak. For the most part I am good at hiding it. Unless you live with me, then not so much. Over the years I’ve tried every pill, I think possible. But, at most they just numbed me more. You feel lost and alone and empty inside, confused, helpless and angry. I don’t even think most doctors truly understand (some do). Unless you have been through it or  are in it, you can’t really understand. But you can learn signs that people are suffering and can try to help.

If it wasn’t for the woman that stands beside me no matter what, I wouldn’t be here. I’ve spent days/weeks/months thinking and even planning suicide. Thankfully with Melissa and my girls at my side I’ve gotten past that. Because of what I’ve gone through I haven’t been the best of friend, husband, or father. Believe me, not on purpose. It’s changed me so much I don’t even know who I am anymore. But I’ve learned that’s ok, I now get to learn who I am all over again. Every day is a struggle, a fight, but where I am now compared to where I was even a couple months ago, has surprised even me. I now know with a lot of hard work everyday that I can see light at the end of the tunnel. I have learned that I have to fight for everything, I have to be the change, there is no special pill or recipe to getting better. It’s me, I have to save myself. People can be there and pills can help, but you have to push yourself for the change. I have to push myself as far from my comfort zone as possible. That’s where my growth will come from.

Here’s what I have found works for me, but everyone’s recovery is going to be different. Because we are all different.

For years I tried all the different pills my doctor. would prescribe. They helped me get out of some dark times, but it never got me out of it totally. I found they just helped numb me to the world. I also did my own self medication with booze and drugs, just more numbing. For a lot of years I just did what I could and would have ok days and really bad, days but was never going forward. It’s been a combination of things that have helped me start my way out of depression and anxiety. I read a paper on leaky gut and the connection with depression.  So, about a year ago I found some pills that help stop leaky gut and help get the right bacteria in your gut. I started taking them and a month or two in I started noticing a small difference in how I felt. It was a start. Then I started cutting out sugar, then processed food and changed my diet. Again another small step. After that I added exercise in, started slow and have been adding to it every week. I’m up to working out 2-3 times a week and running close to 150km a month(not a runner lol). Then I found out about microdosing psilocybin, and did some research on it. I started microdosing about 3 months ago and after about three weeks in I noticed a huge difference in my depression and anxiety. I have a long way to go to rewrite my brain so I don’t go back into that state, but I feel now that I can do this and can win this battle. Not everyday is good but there are a lot more good, then bad these days.

My hope is to help or show at least one person that you can get through this and you are stronger then you think. People want to help, but you need to open up, I know it is hard, but talk to someone, don’t give up. We only get one life on this planet so if you can, have empathy and compassion for everyone because you don’t know what people are going through. If you know anyone struggling just try and be there for them, they might not even want to talk, but to know someone is there, that can mean the world to them.

Don’t judge just LOVE. 🤍
Lee Chilvers

Gone but never forgotten

  1. “To Tristan my heart is broken for you. I hope your pain is gone. I know where you were, I just wish there was a better outcome for you. It seams like it was just yesterday you were building ramps and riding your scooter all over the shop or ripping around on your four wheeler. You always had a big smile and a big heart. You will be missed, love you buddy!”

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